Child It Wasn't Your Fault

This morning I was busying myself in the kitchen making my lunch and just getting ready for my day. It's Monday, rainy, chilly Monday. She walked upstairs and said "Good Morning." I said, "Good Morning." She stopped and looked at me and said, "What do you think my mother tells people? Do you think she just says I ran away?" I told her that I wonder that too and I often think what they've told your paternal grandmother. Her dad's mom doesn't live in our community so they can pretty much tell her what they want and she'll never know the truth. Remember her mother's parents chose not to communicate with her and they definitely know what happened. They know what happened because first of all she told them, and second of all so did I. Anyway, I said, honestly it doesn't matter because people in our community know that parents don't do what your parents did. They just don't. Not without being sick people. I continued packing my lunch, I always have too many containers, and I said to her people know they were wrong. I reminded her that she was barely fifteen years old when this journey began and all she ever wanted from her mom and dad was for them to help. To be a normal parent and get her help after what her brother did to her. She looked at me and said omg yes. I said you never wanted to leave, you always wanted them to be your family but the people you trusted to help you didn't. They looked the other way and continued to protect the person who hurt you that summer. I said you tried, you tried to follow the correct steps and when you asked the counselor at school about your case with DHR that's when you learned the people that were supposed to protect you got the lawyer. You never got the lawyer first they did. She said, yes yes that is true. I said this was never your fault. She cried. She cried right there in the kitchen. A burden was lifted. I reminded her she has broken the cycle. She said, I broke the circle of trust and that was it. They never looked back. I said it breaks my heart when I think about it because it is so foreign to me. To treat a child like that. We would do whatever we had to to help our children, to right the ship, to get our family back on track. She has been through a lot and remembering how it all began helped her remember that she is strong and she is smart and she will be ok, better than ok, she will be successful. I looked at  her and said, I know you haven't felt empowered for a long time but it's time.



I need to mention that yesterday I made it to church. I love lighting a candle in the chapel for my family friends and or whatever special intention I have at the time. Yesterday, I lit several candles. I know I'm probably only supposed to light one but I felt I needed to light one for my kids and then of course for the boys girl friends too and my son in law. So I'm sorry I took so many candles but anyway, my prayer I prayed on the kneeler was for hearts to be healed. I just felt I needed to pray those words. It never takes long, so Fr that's where I go when I leave mass after communion. Anyway, I picked up my purse and jacket and looked at my phone. I had a text from a friend asking about her. I said, oh well she wants purple hair haha and oh yeh, it's just hair whatever. I also said please pray for her as I believe prayer works. She said of course she prays for her every day. We chatted a little more and then went on with our day. I believe a prayer was answered this morning as we had our conversation about the beginning. The burden had to be lifted in order for her to move forward. It's hard to move forward when the load is heavy.