God's Grace
Shortly after we gained permanent custody she had a come apart .. You know, melt down, a moment. It was the end of the work day for me and my sweet co worker and I were preparing for our precious kids to go home. My husband let me know she was upset and they were going to counseling. I was so worried and sad. She struggled with letting us into her heart and truly love her. She is pretty good at putting a wall up and not letting us in which drives me crazy! She once told me she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. She came from a place that wasn't stable. Her parents moved often and she was considered a transient student until she moved to our school system in 6th grade. She started at one middle school then she was moved to the other middle school. Her dad was in and out and not around much or just not engaged. She swam until she couldn't and her life continued to be in turmoil. You can imagine how a child coming from a life that nothing is ever good enough or settled could be worried about the next bad thing happening. I looked around at my precious kids in my bright and beautiful classroom and I started to cry. Lordy I hate crying. Hate it! My co worker asked what was wrong. I said, she doesn't feel worthy of being in our home. How can I make her feel worthy? I said, we can't let her go. We can't let her go into another home where ever that would be. They don't know her. They don't know what she's been through and they won't know how to love her, not that I always knew either, but at least I knew her history. I looked around at all our precious kids and through tears, I said, "look at these beautiful kids. they are so blessed to have wonderful parents." Our parents at the school are so awesome and loving and faithful people. I love all of them. Once the work day was over, I called my husband and said,"I'm meeting you two at counseling and we're handling this." I prayed in my car on the way there. "Lord, help us get through this moment. help us help her and please guide us in the right direction." We would not just let her go. You don't just let a kid go.
We made it through the melt down and in spite of moments like mentioned above my husband and I were enjoying another indoor track season with our youngest. So proud of that boy. They say junior year in high school is the hardest and I believe that. He had a hard school schedule plus he ran year round for the school. Our boys and girls both won state and our boys qualified for New Balance Nationals once again! So excited and proud of them. This year it would be just the boys going. I was sad that I would miss out on this trip as he was the only junior going, the other three running with him would be graduating. But, I loved that he and his dad would have some good father son time too. I told him he better qualify senior year so I can get back to NYC! They did awesome, came in 7th in the nation. I watched here online. Tears of happiness for them!
Through God's grace, we were able to juggle the many personalities in our home. We celebrated the wins and handled the moments of uneasy. We rolled right into outdoor season, the runners were busy, our school attends more meets than any other in our region. I was worried about our boy as he hadn't stopped running in like four years! Hello Forrest Gump! I could tell he was tired. I decided to take him on an impromptu spring break trip to the beach. He had a meet that weekend so we'd just leave one beach and I'd take him to the other one and then head home. He rested and it was good to be with him. My husband went to the meet that weekend to watch. It was one of those moments as a parent that you think I need to be strong even though your heart is aching. It was a tough meet and our boy and boys were tired. This might be it. His running career might be over. Again, there were tears. Ugh, I hate crying but sometimes it just happens. I prayed that God would sustain us during this time and give our sweet tired boy clarity. I prayed we'd get through this and it would be okay. I heard "Trust Me" again. The chapel at church was and still is a place I love to visit and pray. Pretty sure I've worn the kneeler out at the candle station. We said, if it would truly make him happy to be done then so be it. We would be there for him and life would go on. It broke my heart but we would be okay. Once again, I saw the tenacity and strength in our son and he finished the season strong with his team. I'm so thankful he had the opportunity to run with amazing kids who will be moving on to run at the next level.
She got a job at a local farmers market. That girl has gotten every job she's ever interviewed for. She was so happy and eager to work. Unfortunately, with her weak shoulders she was unable to lift and unload boxes. So, that was that. Ugh! Another feeling of defeat and because of previous situations she was unable to move forward and work that job. We picked the pieces up once again and encouraged her to keep her chin up it wasn't the end of the world. She'd find something else soon.
It was about this time we were scheduled to go back to court to discuss financials. I was on my way to the state track meet for the weekend and my husband stayed here to go to court. He showed up along with our lawyer....They didn't show. I was so angry. My husband was happy to stay and handle court as we were eager to be done but they didn't show. So, once again, we have another date scheduled. We said serve them again so they know. My husband told the judge how angry he was. He was missing his son running at the state track meet. He was angry we had to pay our lawyer for his time and it was a waste of time because they didn't show. All I could think of was slowly but surely, they're exposing themselves for who they are. We had them served again. The person who intercepted the notice was a family member. They in turn filed a motion that it was improperly served. We said, serve them again and this time hand it to each of them. I was so over them delaying. So, we had them served once again, one at the school and one at home. We tried to keep it out of the public, but because they chose to keep delaying, it had to be that way. They made it be that way.
We made it through the melt down and in spite of moments like mentioned above my husband and I were enjoying another indoor track season with our youngest. So proud of that boy. They say junior year in high school is the hardest and I believe that. He had a hard school schedule plus he ran year round for the school. Our boys and girls both won state and our boys qualified for New Balance Nationals once again! So excited and proud of them. This year it would be just the boys going. I was sad that I would miss out on this trip as he was the only junior going, the other three running with him would be graduating. But, I loved that he and his dad would have some good father son time too. I told him he better qualify senior year so I can get back to NYC! They did awesome, came in 7th in the nation. I watched here online. Tears of happiness for them!
Through God's grace, we were able to juggle the many personalities in our home. We celebrated the wins and handled the moments of uneasy. We rolled right into outdoor season, the runners were busy, our school attends more meets than any other in our region. I was worried about our boy as he hadn't stopped running in like four years! Hello Forrest Gump! I could tell he was tired. I decided to take him on an impromptu spring break trip to the beach. He had a meet that weekend so we'd just leave one beach and I'd take him to the other one and then head home. He rested and it was good to be with him. My husband went to the meet that weekend to watch. It was one of those moments as a parent that you think I need to be strong even though your heart is aching. It was a tough meet and our boy and boys were tired. This might be it. His running career might be over. Again, there were tears. Ugh, I hate crying but sometimes it just happens. I prayed that God would sustain us during this time and give our sweet tired boy clarity. I prayed we'd get through this and it would be okay. I heard "Trust Me" again. The chapel at church was and still is a place I love to visit and pray. Pretty sure I've worn the kneeler out at the candle station. We said, if it would truly make him happy to be done then so be it. We would be there for him and life would go on. It broke my heart but we would be okay. Once again, I saw the tenacity and strength in our son and he finished the season strong with his team. I'm so thankful he had the opportunity to run with amazing kids who will be moving on to run at the next level.
She got a job at a local farmers market. That girl has gotten every job she's ever interviewed for. She was so happy and eager to work. Unfortunately, with her weak shoulders she was unable to lift and unload boxes. So, that was that. Ugh! Another feeling of defeat and because of previous situations she was unable to move forward and work that job. We picked the pieces up once again and encouraged her to keep her chin up it wasn't the end of the world. She'd find something else soon.
It was about this time we were scheduled to go back to court to discuss financials. I was on my way to the state track meet for the weekend and my husband stayed here to go to court. He showed up along with our lawyer....They didn't show. I was so angry. My husband was happy to stay and handle court as we were eager to be done but they didn't show. So, once again, we have another date scheduled. We said serve them again so they know. My husband told the judge how angry he was. He was missing his son running at the state track meet. He was angry we had to pay our lawyer for his time and it was a waste of time because they didn't show. All I could think of was slowly but surely, they're exposing themselves for who they are. We had them served again. The person who intercepted the notice was a family member. They in turn filed a motion that it was improperly served. We said, serve them again and this time hand it to each of them. I was so over them delaying. So, we had them served once again, one at the school and one at home. We tried to keep it out of the public, but because they chose to keep delaying, it had to be that way. They made it be that way.
