Faith Hope and Hell

Two years can give a girl a lot of perspective. We were talking one day recently about a girl she met, a new friend. This girl has been through some similar things our girl has been through. Her brother molested her, the family did nothing. So we were talking and she said, I can't imagine if I'd stayed in that house. She said there is no way I could look at my brother who hurt me and my parents who did nothing to protect me. The new friend has borderline personality disorder. She asked us if that would have been her had she not gotten out of that house. We said yes, most likely it would be. Thinking back to how everything had to align for her to leave is almost over whelming. In earlier posts, I talked about it. She said, "When I realized you wanted me, I jumped and you caught me." When she said that Rick and I were like we sure did. Had she stayed, she says she would have died. I don't like to think about that because it's too sad. God knew we'd catch her...

Chatting with a mom yesterday who is a licensed foster parent. I've known her for several years as her boys were patients at the orthodontist office I previously worked at. I was telling her this story, our journey here and I told her that she was one of the inspirations for me as a foster mom. Working at the office, we had several amazing families who fostered children. I always loved seeing the kids when they came in the office and I thought "Wow! these families are awesome. How do they do it? I sure could never do it." Little did I know that I would be joining their club. Funny to think God put me at that great office most likely to set the stage to prepare me for what was going to come my way in a few years. The families I've met have stayed in my life one way or another. They have shown me to be faithful and to trust and that they're real. They've given me advice and they've supported me even if they weren't aware of it.

Just came from her room because Polly, the ferret accidentally got in there and woke her up. I noticed a huge pile of clothes on the floor and my heart kind of jumped out of my chest. I said, "Are these for donation?" She said, "Yeh, I'm not that person anymore." I said, "Oh wow, so many we bought you after you came here to live with us." She said, "I know, isn't that crazy? It's been two years. I'm not that person anymore." I said, "I know, it is so crazy." She said, "You've seen me go through normal phases, like regular kids do. I was never allowed to do that." I said,  "I might cry." I'm not emotional over clothes, I'm emotional over the normal process of change and maturing. With my bio kids, those phases were normal, never thought twice about them except maybe, you know, ugh, why are you wearing the same outfit again?? ha... But honestly, it was just part of every day life for them....

Rick and I were talking this morning on our walk about where we started on this journey. Looking back, two years ago all hell was breaking loose. Just the beginning of the twilight zone. Had we known what we were about to enter into would we have done it? Maybe, maybe not.  We probably would't have thought ourselves strong enough or financially stable enough or had enough time. God revealed each moment on it's own so we wouldn't see the whole picture at once. To this day we  know we did the right thing. She is worth it!  Our consistent love for her is starting to pay off. She said yesterday, love in her home growing up was conditional. It was given if she was winning and taken away if she wasn't. I'm not saying we aren't ever upset or disappointed because that is unrealistic but we always love. I said to Rick on our walk, we literally started at the bottom of the barrel and had no idea.  When she came to us, she was lacking love for herself and her idea of a lov...